“He was so good for you,” one of my friends said to me today about Griff. “He gave you back your confidence.” And she’s right. After my divorce, I was so shaken, that I lost my sense of myself as beautiful or worthy of deep love. By the time I met Griff, I was starting to get my groove back. But I was definitely still wounded.
In the time we were together, he worked every day to make me feel loved. He’d clear time in a busy schedule to see me nearly every day, even if it was just for a quick coffee. He’d send texts to tell me he was thinking about me. He’d phone just to say hello. He was loving and affectionate and appreciative of the efforts I was making in the relationship. He treated my body as though it were something precious and beautiful. Slowly I felt myself bloom. One of Griff’s great gifts to me was that he gave me back that confidence that had been so badly shaken in my divorce.
And there were so many other gifts.He showed me how to be vulnerable and how to take emotional risks in a relationship. Together, we learned to share that same level of intimacy in the bedroom. He brought a profound sense of order and calm into my life. He emptied my garage, built me a beautiful mud room with a place for everything, and fixed things up for me around my house. But it wasn’t just a sense of physical order. There was no drama in the relationship. There were no games. It was so grown up and calm and lovely. He refused to rescue me, but instead kept showing me over and over that I didn’t need rescuing after all. While I was with him, I found the confidence to write a book and start a blog. I think I almost believe now that I have a great ass. I’m grateful for every one of these gifts.
“I know I’m going to regret this,” he told me as were were breaking up. And I think he will. I think he’s going to miss as many things about me as I will about him. I regret that our relationship has ended, even though it was time. But I have no regrets about the time we spent together. I’m choosing, rather than just to mourn the loss, to celebrate all that we had and all that we gave one another. This is how I stay positive. This is how I find joy, even in a sad time. And this is how I move forward.