So Victoria, it turns out, is a pretty small town. This became evident recently when I was telling Kira about a date I’d gone out on: “He seemed like a good fit for me,” I said. “Pretty adventurous. He’s climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and his next adventure is Everest Base Camp. How cool is that?” Kira started giggling. “Does he sail too?”
I gave her an appraising look. “You’ve gone out with him, haven’t you?”
“He never stopped talking!” We both collapsed in laughter.
But then I had a thought. “So have you gone out with “Born to Fly” too?”
Another shriek of laughter. “Yes!”
“I’m having dinner with him on Friday. Is he a good guy?”
“Lovely,” she laughed. “But not the guy for me.”
“So, Kira, that means that of the four men I’ve gone out with so far, you’ve dated three of them.”
“And it’s time for you to send Ben my way. That would make it four for four. And I’ve been generous with my hand-me-downs. Fair is fair.”
“No. You can’t have Ben. Sorry…He’s not a hand-me-down.”
It isn’t really a surprise that Kira and I are dating the same men; we are, after all, both petite brunettes and we’re in exactly the same demographic. But there’s still something kind of creepy about the whole thing. I don’t really want to have to run past Kira every guy who contacts me, just to find out what he’s really like.
And so, Kira and I have come up with a devilishly simple new dating approach: she will date all the men with names beginning with A to M. I’ll be in charge of the rest of the alphabet. We can weed out the men who fall into the category of “Absolutely Not.” And those in the category of “Nice Guy, But Not For Me,” we can pass on to each other.
But we’ll definitely need to make use of spreadsheets for this plan to work. After my dinner date with “Born to Fly,” I called Kira.
“Hey,” I said. “I thought you said “Born to Fly” was a lovely guy!”
“Uh oh….what happened?”
“Well, he was lovely. Interesting and engaging. But even though I told him I didn’t kiss on the first date, he kissed me anyway. With tongue!”
“Ewww! I am so sorry! He didn’t kiss me… But now that you mention it, he was very touchy and he kept asking me about sex…”
“Just for the record, Kira, that memory lapse is a major “Dating-Sister” infraction! You need to keep better notes!”
So maybe our new dating system needs some refining. But it’s got potential.
And Kira, my dear Dating Sister, if you’re reading this, please promise me something? Please, please screen the creepy kissers for me!