You know it’s going to be a good getaway when Wine Depot gives you a volume discount on your purchase. You know it’s going to be good when all you have planned is time to walk the beach, time to visit, and time at the spa. I’m just back from a three day retreat with my two oldest and dearest friends, and by any measure, it was a great little holiday. Our spa bill was higher than our hotel bill, and we spent more on wine than we did on food. Clearly, we got the equations right.
And while we were away, my girlfriends decided to find me a man online. It didn’t take them long to realize that the pickings were slim. They tried on Match.com to find me a man with a similar level of education and salary range, and with at least a few common interests. Not a single match.
It was really funny to listen to their conversation, these two lovely women, both in happy marriages of more than 20 years:
“What about this one?”
“Oh, no. Look at his pictures! Remember, that’s him trying to look his best. Those are supposed to be his best pictures!”
“Okay, how about him?”
“Interests: cars, ATV racing, hockey. I don’t think so.”
“Listen to this profile: ‘I’m a happy, helthy – spelled wrong – male, looking for a ladies (doesn’t know how to use an apostrophe) company.’ Nope.”
“Whoa. This is pretty depressing.”
Which is why they decided to create a new profile for me on Plenty of Fish, where there is a wonderful selection of mostly unsuitable but clearly available men.
We had everything we needed: enough wine to fuel our creativity, Kim’s iPhone, and wireless internet. God bless technology.
And so, over the next 24 hours, we worked on the concept for the profile and got down to the beach to take pictures to accompany the profile. It needed a little bit of polishing once I got home, but here’s my shiny new Plenty of Fish profile, which has now been public for a couple of days:
Easily Led Astray
You know when you get to one of life’s intersections and you’re not quite sure where to head next? And you don’t have a GPS? And the last copy of “The Lonely Planet’s Guide to the Road Less Traveled” has been signed out at the library? I hate it when that happens. But here I am.
It would be so much easier if I was thinking about a new profession… I love my work, but if I didn’t, I’d consider becoming a weather girl. Ever since I ended up in front of the cameras and diva lights a few years back, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I missed my calling and that I was supposed to be on television. Or I could become a back up singer. I’m not a particularly talented singer or dancer, but I can rock a little black dress and there’s that whole stage and spotlight thing I like so much. When the mood strikes me, I think I’d like to move to Hornby Island and collect sand dollars. It would also be cool to be a National Geographic Explorer in Residence. I could travel to exotic, off-the-beaten-track kinds of places, and write about my experiences. For that matter, I could write a series of “How To” books. They’d have titles like “The Delicious Life: A Woman’s Guide to Being Single,” or “Contained Chaos: On Raising Boys.” And of course, I’ve always wanted to be a princess. I’m good with devotion. And I’m good at giving it back too. (I could also write a best selling book called, “How to Love a Man.”)
But I’m happy with my career. It’s being single that I’m not so crazy about. I’m the kind of woman who likes to have a man in her life. I’m not exactly sure who I’m looking for, but I’m drawn to men who are intelligent, fun-loving and warm. I like laughter, curiousity and good conversation. I value open communication, honesty and loyalty. And I love to be touched.
(I’ll keep you posted about who responds).