Yes Virginia, There Are Plenty of Fish

Image representing PlentyofFish as depicted in...

Image via CrunchBase

Okay, I have to come clean here: I love Plenty of Fish! It is my spiritual dating home. I love its crazy, fun, night – club vibe. I love that it’s free, and because it’s free, everyone is on there. I love that the men on the site are without inhibition and will send even the most unlikely woman a message, because, hey! You never know! Plenty of Fish is the dating site that plays to my strengths and satisfies my deepest need: attention.

I’ve been on eHarmony for a couple of months now and it’s been a bit of a bust. I know that eHarmony uses its specialized algorithms to set me up with men who share my values and interests. But there is nowhere on the profile page for me to write anything! How can anyone see how witty and charming I am if I’m only supposed to use drop down menus and bulleted lists? And how am I supposed to send witty emails when eHarmony has a clunky “Guided Communication” system that makes a girl like me crazy?

Image representing eHarmony as depicted in Cru...

Image via CrunchBase

If truth be told, the two men that I’ve actually been out with have been better suited to me than the vast majority of men I met the last time I was on Plenty of Fish. They’ve both been lovely: engaging, available, and open. The site does a good job of connecting people with similar values.  But two men in two months? Give me a break!

I need attention, people! And that’s where Plenty of Fish comes in. Within minutes of publishing my profile, the emails start flooding my inbox. Sk8ter Boy 26 has added you as a favourite! Softwherebytes has sent you a message! Dented Armour has added you as a favourite! It is so gratifying to know that I’ve still got it going on! After the deathly silence at eHarmony, I was starting to think I’d passed my “Sell By” date.

Apparently not. I launched my Plenty of Fish profile Tuesday night and by Wednesday morning my inbox was full.


So this is the part where you have to have a sense of humour. Because you get attention, there’s no doubt. It’s just whether that attention is welcome or not. Here’s a sample of emails I sent out after the initial tidal wave of messages arrived:

Hi “Sk8ter Boy 26”,

Skaters 13

Skaters 13 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thanks so much for your message. I was very flattered that a man 20 years younger than me would notice my profile and contact me. Those are great photos of you at the skateboard park! Unfortunately, I would really like to find somebody who is in the same place in his life as I am.

Have fun fishing!


Hi “Classy Gent”,

Thanks for your message. I was very flattered that a man 20 years older than me would contact me. I should have probably mentioned in my profile that my youngest child is 8. Unfortunately, I would really like to find somebody who is in the same place in his life as I am.

Good luck in your search!


Hi “Fun For You”,

Thanks for your message. You’re right that Chilliwack is too far away, but it was nice to hear from you anyway.

I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but I think you might want to change your main profile picture.  You should use the other picture of you, where you’re zip lining. In that one you look like a fun, adventurous guy. But about your main profile picture: lots of women find pictures of half-naked men a bit unsettling. I’ll bet you’d get a lot more responses if you deleted that photo.

Good luck and happy fishing!


So maybe I could be using my time more fruitfully, saving the world or at least posting to my blog, but I don’t mind spending a few hours sifting through the emails and writing back to everyone.  It reminds me that there are all kinds of possibilities out there, that there is an abundance of men.

And I’m just looking for one.



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About Sally

Poet, seeker, author, mom. Celebrating the beauty and mystery that surrounds us and learning to trust in the journey.
This entry was posted in The Alphabet of Dating, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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