This is what I love about Plenty of Fish: within 12 hours of posting my profile – with the tagline “Easily Led Astray” – I had three men volunteer to lead me as far astray as I wanted, and one particularly enterprising individual offer to lead me to the brink of ruin. Now what sensible woman could resist an offer like that?
This is the note I received from “Desmond”:
John Coltrane!?! And you need someone to lead you astray?
Well I would love to lead you astray. I have brought many a person to the brink of ruin and I am sure I could work my magic
on you, if only you would have me…
Now, while you are considering my offer, I think it would be great if you could join my band and sing a few background la la las… especially while rocking that black dress. Remuneration negotiable.
Perhaps you could perform a perfunctory profile perusal, and, if there is anything that strikes a chord with you, (and you don’t
find me too hideous or abhorrent), then this fine fellow; this likely lad would be most delighted to hear from you.
The Brink of Ruin… That is a most tempting offer, a far more interesting destination than Astray. In fact Astray seems dull and pedestrian by comparison!
Could I wear the black dress for the occasion? And perhaps a boa?
Your message made me laugh out loud and your profile struck a number of pleasing chords. I am so easily led astray by a man who can write. I would have you in a heartbeat if you lived in Victoria.
But I have promised myself no men from Vancouver this time. No matter how witty! No matter how charming! No matter how cool their profile pictures are! (And the Bartok photo is Brink of Ruin cool.)
Any chance the UVIC School of Music has just made you an offer you can’t refuse and you’re on your way to the island?
Now I am at the brink of despair… you can’t… you mustn’t. It is so very, very rare that a woman would have me in a heartbeat, (or even responds), you mustn’t cut me adrift…. maybe astray, but not adrift.
What if – instead of leading you astray or to the brink – I were to take you by hand as we climbed the steps to Parnassus? Nay! I would lead you to the very gates of Elysium. Now… rather than ruin, doesn’t a life of perpetual bliss appeal somewhat?
What if I were to immortalize you in music? The Sally Song? The Sally Sonata? The Sally Symphony? I can… I will… I want to.
Anyhow… I wish you the very best,
For all the miseries of internet dating, an exchange like this keeps me going for weeks. I love the playfulness, the humour, the wonderful word play. And I realize that a man who writes well can wrap me around his finger in minutes.