“You know how much I enjoy your blog and writing. If I do end up in there, perhaps I could be John. I’ve never received a Dear John letter…”
It is with infinite sadness that I accept your withdrawal from the Sally Suitor Competition. Every now and again a man comes along who I know is absolute top quality material: he is strong, confident, and secure in himself; professionally, he is good at what he does without letting it take over his entire life; he is kind and funny and smart; he pursues his outside interests with passion. You’re all that, John, and more.
I know that you would be an amazing partner. And if I could will myself to fall in love with you, I would have done so already. I know that you would do everything in your power to love me every day of your life.
My heart, I’m afraid, is a capricious creature. It doesn’t always listen to what my head has to say. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned in the last few years, it’s that I have to listen to both my head and my heart.
Perhaps my heart hasn’t yet healed enough to love again. Perhaps I haven’t yet found the right person. I’m not sure about very much at the moment. But I do know that I feel far more comfortable with you as friend rather than suitor.
John, I really hope that you have not felt as though I’ve been leading you on, or keeping you as part of a “collection” of men. I think I’ve tried, right from the beginning, to be honest and open about where I’m at and what I’m feeling. You sounded hurt in your email today; I never wanted to hurt you.
I would very much like to cultivate a friendship with you. I thoroughly enjoy your company and would like to continue getting to know you.
I have loved reading your responses to my blog. It has been such a rich dialogue, and so interesting to have a man’s perspective. I have an “H” and an “I” letter underway. “J is for John” will be for you. (I’m crying as I write this).
Talk to you soon.