Owning Delicious

“Chest out.  Drop your shoulders. Now look back at me and smile!” Jane looks over her shoulder and flashes a dazzling smile. Dressed in a clingy purple dress which accentuates her voluptuous curves, she looks gorgeous. As she throws her head back and laughs, it’s clear: this woman owns sexy. She owns beautiful. She owns delicious.

It would be hard to tell that from Jane’s old online dating profile, which Kira, Queen of All the Internet Dating, sent to me a couple of weeks earlier. Jane’s photographs were dated, out of focus and featured her scowling into the camera. “This is not at all what she looks like! It’s not who she is! We have to help her!” Kira told me.

And so Kira and Jane have arrived at my place, armed with date-worthy outfits and bags full of makeup. I’ve bought a bottle of champagne for the affair. I know it’s a Monday night, but certain occasions call for celebratory libations. And tonight we’re celebrating sexy. We’re celebrating delicious. It’s taken each of us at least a few years to find our way back to a place where we see ourselves as strong, confident, sexy women. It’s taken time for each of us to step into our beauty and power, and truly own it.  And if that doesn’t call for champagne, then I don’t know what does.

Months after my marriage ended,  I remember emerging from the initial heartbreak and shock, and wondering if I would ever find love again. I was still reeling from the betrayal I suffered, still deeply wounded. “Who will love this body, this face, this woman on the other side of beautiful?” I wondered. At that point I felt worn down and exhausted, and as far from beautiful or sexy as possible. It was inconceivable that a man would ever again fall head over heels in love with me.

I couldn’t have known then that I would rediscover love and rediscover passion. I couldn’t have known that within five years, I would have two wonderfully healing relationships, each with a man who would worship my body. I couldn’t have known then that I would ever find my way to “smoking hot”. But I have. And I like it.

Late into the evening we launch Jane’s new profile. This is a profile that reflects the woman she is today. We’ve chosen four beautiful photographs, we’ve rewritten her profile so it’s quirky and a little provocative, and we’ve given her a new username and tagline. Instead of JSR2kids, she is now Janeylicious. Her tagline reads, “The best kind of trouble.”

We only have to wait a few minutes before the first message comes in. And it’s a good one: “I bow to your curves!”

And I bow to all the sexy, delicious women out there who are stepping into their beauty, stepping into their power, and striding confidently into the next chapter in their lives. I bow to you all.


About Sally

Poet, seeker, author, mom. Celebrating the beauty and mystery that surrounds us and learning to trust in the journey.
This entry was posted in Living Deliciously, The Alphabet of Dating, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Owning Delicious

  1. lambskinny says:

    I capitulate to the need for sexy pics and edgy taglines, but — like Quinn — I say, “No thanks.” To each her own, but I’m afraid “date-worthy” clothes and I parted ways many many many years ago. After a 28 year marriage ending in divorce due to infidelity, I just can’t throw my head back, smile, and say: “Here I am; come and get me.” But, I admire — yes, I do — women who can. More power to you, gals.

    And congrats on the VBA Nomination.

    • Sally says:

      Hi Carley, and thank you for visiting my blog! You make an excellent point here. Are we “selling ourselves” in a way which is somehow degrading? I hope not. For me, it was a long road back to seeing myself as sexy and beautiful after my marriage ended in the same way as yours. But it does feel good to own delicious again…

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