Divine Awareness

collected works“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.”

Henry Miller

When my marriage ended, I made a commitment to myself to learn as much as I could from the experience.  Up to that point, I had kept a journal on and off, but journal writing had never been a regular practice in my life. As my marriage disintegrated, I began to write as though my life depended on it. Perhaps it did.

VisionThe earliest journal from that time overflows with grief and disbelief and fear. I wrote down all my worries, all my fears about how my boys and I would manage alone, all my confusion, all my pain. But even before my ex-husband moved out, I was ready to move on. I picked out a journal with a warm apricot colour, and decided it would be “a book of healing” for me. One of the first entries is a vision for my family:

“I want our home to be a loving, laughter-filled place filled with good energy and light. I want to be a happy, calm and energetic mother who takes time every day to give each of my children the love he needs…”  When I read that now, I’m surprised by how focussed I was, how seemingly together, even though I was still reeling with sadness.

the first yearFor the first year, I filled a new journal every three months. I wrote, sometimes for hours, every day. I filled those books with my sadness, with my worries and my questions, and somewhere along the way, I wrote my way through the darkest time into the light. In all that writing, I came to understand myself better and to understand the part I’d played in my marriage’s ending. Somewhere along the way, I forgave my ex-husband. Somewhere along the way, I crafted a hopeful and compelling vision for myself and my family. Somewhere along the way, I re-imagined myself and my life.

Though I don’t write as much now as I once did, journalling is an essential practice in my life, a practice that has shaped – and continues to shape – the woman I’m becoming. It is the practice in my life that has, more than any other, helped lead me closer to serene, divine awareness.


About Sally

Poet, seeker, author, mom. Celebrating the beauty and mystery that surrounds us and learning to trust in the journey.
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19 Responses to Divine Awareness

  1. Writing Jobs says:

    That was an excellent post today. Thanks so much for sharing it. I
    really enjoyed reading it very much. You have a wonderful day!

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  2. “As individuals, our life and the way we lead it creates a mosaic of who we are.

    Like a jigsaw puzzle made up of many individual pieces. On their own, the pieces are meaningless, they can’t portray or project anything about who we are or what we seek to be.

    But placed together, interlocked, they provide a strong bond that holds together the mosaic of whom we really are; the picture unfolds…

    Whom or what would we be if we were not able to pursue our individual dreams?

    Would we ever fulfill our real potential?”

  3. Paul says:

    Very very impressive. My own efforts are more like 6 month check ups. 🙂

  4. I remember hearing once, perhaps on Oprah, that writing down what you want makes it real and it will come to you. I believe you have proven that to be true. I really love that you picked such a bright, beautiful color to represent your healing.

    • I have seen this to be true over and over again in my life. I’ll write something in a journal and forget about it. A couple of years later, I’ll realize, “hey! That happened!” I’m very careful now about what I write in a dating profile 🙂

  5. keeping a journal is a beautiful thing. it allows you to reflect, check in with yourself, heal, capture moments, feelings, remember… i think of my blog as a bit of a journal. we all need an outlet to keep us ‘aware’

  6. Brigitte says:

    Sally, I used to journal all the time, since I was 13 years old. For some reason, I stopped, but as you know after getting The Artist’s Way, part of the commitment is journalling. Just writing, free-flowing thoughts without censoring yourself which is kind of what a journal should be! I agree with you about this — it’s important and I think it can lead to all kinds of wonderfully creative journeys!

  7. Kecia Adams says:

    I journaled a lot when I was a young teen, especially the year I spent as an exchange student in Denmark. I do some now, but not as much as I would like. Your post reminded me of Natalie Goldberg’s morning pages. To paraphrase her: Writing practice digests our sorrow and let’s us move on.

  8. kp says:

    Hi Sally: Beautiful post….and I love those journals in your photo!!! I have journalled off and on over my life, and have also found that it helps me to explore my feelings and discover my truths. Kim

    • Thanks, Kim. I love hearing about other people’s writing experiences. What I have discovered is that when I’m blogging, I tend not to journal so much, but that it is a practice that I still need. Sometimes I have to pull back. Right now I’m back to “Morning Pages,” a healthy way to start my day.I love the journals too. I bought the first one as a gift to myself and they’ve since become a small luxury that I love. Thanks for stopping in!

      • kp says:

        Hi Sally…I have noticed the same thing; that when I am blogging on a regular basis, I don’t write in my journal as often. But when I am upset, I find it helpful to write in a journal without worrying about what I am saying, how it sounds, or how it reads. I like the idea of “morning pages”; great practice!! Let us all know how you find that. Kim

  9. That’s quite an empowering story… journalling your way to healing. Journals have always been an on-again-off-again activity for me. But I do believe there is power in it. Thanks for the reminder to get back to it!

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