Trusting Myself

Stack of journals“You must trust your truest truth.”

Cheryl Strayed, Tiny, Beautiful Things

I wrote a couple of days ago about the importance of journal writing in my life, how this practice has at once healed and shaped me. In exploring my inner life, I’ve arrived at truths which feel solid and substantial because, rather than having read them in a self-help book,  I’ve lived them. And these truths, when collected and reflected upon, have the power to transform.

As I come to the end of a journal, I read through and collect all the things I’ve learned, all the “AHA moments” I’ve experienced, and I make a list at the back of the book. I think of these lists as my “Collected Wisdom.” Whenever I am struggling in my life, I return to those lists, reminding myself about what I know to be true for me.

Collected WisdomHere is a sampling of the learning I collected in one journal:

  • I am responsible for my own happiness and fulfillment
  • I must always listen to my body and my wise inner voice
  • My freedom and independence are gifts
  • Love wholeheartedly
  • Be receptive to the gifts of the Universe
  • Live from possibility, not fear

It is this learning that I return to during difficult times and when I have difficult decisions to make. This last week, it was my body I needed to listen to. For some time it had been telling me “no,” but I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t know if it was fear speaking or wisdom. “Hang in there,” I kept thinking, “you might just be scared.” But at some point, I realized that I had to listen to my body, that that voice was getting louder within me. I had to trust myself.

As things have unfolded, it’s becoming clearer to me that my body was right, that I did the right thing by heeding that little voice. It seems crazy to me that, at my age, I still don’t fully trust myself.  But I’m learning.

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About Sally

Poet, seeker, author, mom. Celebrating the beauty and mystery that surrounds us and learning to trust in the journey.
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28 Responses to Trusting Myself

  1. “It seems crazy to me that, at my age, I still don’t fully trust myself. But I’m learning.” <<- That's where I am, too. I know myself, even though there will always be more to learn (please, God). I know that inner voice, and yet sometimes I don’t trust it, and then I pay the price for not listening. I’m a work in progress. 😉

    • As are we all! My biggest hurdle at this point is distinguishing between the voice that comes from a place of fear (“Run!”) and the one that comes from a place of knowing. Thanks for commenting, Ellen!

  2. Yes, we all have a little inner voice, but all too often we ignore it…

    But I’m listening today, was set to go for a kayak, but the body said, you’re kidding me Baz. So heading for the couch for a while, and then a walk with Janet, TomO, and MilO (just around the block 😉 )

  3. El Guapo says:

    You get extra points for at least hearing the voice, and allowing yourself to change your mind as it went along.

  4. Raphael's Legacy says:

    I loved the authenticity of this blog, for as mortals we often think we know it all.

    Whereas the truth is our inner wisdom is the intelligence that knows everything and anything, its just that the screams from our mortals fears often drown that wisdom out.

    That being said 10/10 for being so aware that you took the time to note and share this experience with us, your blog has great warmth, great energy and is a pleasure to explore, sincere regards, Barry

    • Hi Barry, thank you so much for your kind comments. I agree that if we really listen, our inner wisdom is an excellent guide. But it can be awfully hard sometimes to access that wisdom. Thank you so much for dropping by!

  5. Jerry says:

    It seems that ‘pain’ is a great catalyst to creativity and abundance. I’m sorry that your heart got a little too close to the flame recently, however it is wonderful to see the return of some rich flavours within the vanilla

    • All my best learning comes out of pain, and I would agree that it is a great catalyst. On the other hand, I really hate pain and try to avoid it at all costs 🙂 Interesting that you perceived my blog as having been a bit vanilla over the last while. I felt the same way. In fact is was one of the things that I had to look at in this recent ending. Why am I writing so little? Why am I being so careful in what I say? It was an indicator. So nice to see you back!

      • Jerry says:

        One man’s loss is the other men’s gain 🙂

      • And I suspect that dating stories on my blog are far more entertaining than relationship stories… And as I’d prefer not to stay single forever, I need to think about how to reinvent myself!

      • Jerry says:

        There is about as much chance as you staying single forever as a sunny month in Ireland. No need to reinvent yourself, you’ll just need a new story line 🙂

      • Why thank you. I appreciate your confidence in me. I’m a little bit shaken at the moment, having hurt somebody and not knowing how I could have done things differently. Some learning for me to do before I throw myself out there again. May the sun shine soon in Galway!

      • Jerry says:

        To see that word ‘shaken’ mean’s its time for your followers to pour you a strong virtual drink, look you in the eye, and get you back up on the blogging horse, asap. Hope you feel better soon, and its miserable in Galway too. 🙂

      • I think I need to have a virtual pub night on my blog. We can all swap stories and give advice and make each other laugh… That would cheer me up 🙂

      • Jerry says:

        I’m sure that’s possible on fb or google + We might need to bring our own drinks though!! Do make sure I get an invite if you decide to go out on the virtual tear 🙂

      • You will be at the top of the guest list!

  6. Diane C says:

    “Live from possibility, not fear”. Wise words. So many people let fear paralyze them. I see it all around me everyday. Fear is not a bad thing – it is there to protect you – but I eventually learned that almost always the fear is far worse than the thing you are afraid to face. Nice post today Sally.

  7. babedarla says:

    Hey, I want an invite to that virtual pub night too!
    Sally, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I love this post. I love the things that you listed as having learned from one journal, specifically “I am responsible for my own happiness and fulfillment”,”Love wholeheartedly”, “Be receptive to the gifts of the Universe” and, especially “Live from possibility, not fear” Seems like we’ve been learning similar things in our “advanced ages” (yeah right, you’re only as old as you feel, and I feel like a much happier and wiser 24 year old. I’m sticking to that!)
    I used to have as my comical mantra “Oh god, not another learning experience.” but it seems that these days I’m relishing those learning experiences, and the opportunity they give me to remake myself into who I want to be….so much more fulfilling.
    I was on Pandora yesterday and heard this song by Kate Nash called “Merry Happy” (http://youtu.be/Qf4Ea59Uods). It seems that this young girl learned these valuable lessons in far less time than it took us:
    “Dancing at discos
    Eating cheese on toast
    Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
    But you obviously, you didn’t want to stick around

    So I learnt from you”

  8. heysugarsugar says:

    Sally…quick fly by here..Wordpress went and unfollowed me from loads of blogs! so I am having to re follow..so i needed to tell you cause you will wonder what the hell I am doing when you get an email saying i am following you again! bloody technology ! xxx

  9. That inner voice of ours sometimes seems to whisper so quietly it can be hard to hear amidst the din. At least that’s how it is for me. Good on you for taking the cue!

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