A Nice Girl Like Me

OKCupid - HungOne74

OKCupid – HungOne74 (Photo credit: sebastien.barre)

“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”

That is a very good question. It’s what happens, actually, when a nice girl like me creates a profile on OK Cupid, a dating site where it’s nearly impossible to hide one’s profile. Anybody can see me. And I do mean anybody. Not only can I not hide my profile, I also can’t restrict who sees me based on age or location. Which is why a nice girl like me has had messages from men as far away as Australia and Romania, from married men interested in polyamourous relationships, and from men as young as 21. (Um, hello! I’m more than twice as old as you!)

Really, the question should be, “What in the hell is a nice girl like me doing on OK Cupid in the first place?” I’ve written before about how Plenty of Fish is my spiritual dating home, about how I like the free-for-all, party atmosphere there, about how I like the features that give me some semblance of control over my dating life. You’d think I’d have the good sense to stick with the tried and true.

But I’m starting to feel like a bit of a dating expert. And dating experts should be familiar with all the dating websites, don’t you think? Also, I wanted to check out the multiple choice questions which OK Cupid is famous for, questions like “how soon after meeting someone would you consider having sex with them?” You’d be surprised how many men answer, “after one date.” My favourite question so far: “If you died suddenly, would the person who cleaned out your bedroom be surprised by what they found there?”

Apparently, the questions get more interesting and entertaining the more you answer. I guess it beats Solitaire on a Friday night.

The main problem with OK Cupid is that there are only about four men from Victoria on it. So I guess it’s a good thing that you can’t hide your profile, nor put limits on who can contact you. and I guess that’s how a nice girl like me found herself explaining to a 21 year old from Texas why age, actually, is more than just a state of mind.

The best thing about OK Cupid is the tongue in cheek humour you find around the site. One of the things that appears on a profile is how frequently a person responds to messages. You’ll see a comment like “Responds frequently” or “Responds selectively.” The other day, a guy contacted me and his profile said, “Responds in the light of the Gibbous Moon.”

Perhaps a nice girl like me should just stick with Solitaire.


About Sally

Poet, seeker, author, mom. Celebrating the beauty and mystery that surrounds us and learning to trust in the journey.
This entry was posted in The Alphabet of Dating, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

57 Responses to A Nice Girl Like Me

  1. El Guapo says:

    Well, you can always do a phony profile.
    I bet you still get emails from Texas guy though…

  2. β€œResponds in the light of the Gibbous Moon.” = LOL πŸ™‚
    You are a brave woman. I thought I was brave trying match.com and eharmony.com. I have two friends who have had some luck with Plenty of Fish. πŸ™‚

  3. Seb says:

    I really should try one of those sites one of these days. My new, rather magnificent, beard would no doubt be a major selling point with the less discriminating ladies of San Mateo and Santa Cruz counties. I’m told it makes me look like a 19th Century Republican President. What don’t the ladies love about 19th Century Republican Presidents?

    • babedarla says:

      I’m partial to Alexander Hamilton myself, the younger one, from the “new” ten dollar bill. Now, I know, wrong Century, but still, I thought I’d put my two cents in!
      I can’t see why you’d have a problem with the MORE discriminating ladies of Santa Cruz and San Mateo counties…I’m betting having the LOOK of a 19th C Republican Prez would actually be an assest (especially in Santa Cruz!) as long as your politics weren’t those of ANY kind of Republican President. That might be a sticking point!

      • Laughing my head off, Babe! It’s time for you to share some more of those dating stories on your blog! If you can’t laugh, you’d have to cry!

      • babedarla says:

        Oh, but I can definitely laugh…and shake my head, and laugh some more!
        I know I’ve been slack about my blog posts of late, but school is keeping me pretty busy…I DO want to blog about this one, though, it’s just so delightfully unnerving!

      • Delightfully unnerving. Exactly!!

      • Seb says:

        Ha! I am what you would call a rock-ribbed Republican, but I have never once voted for a Republican candidate for President, in either the 20th or 21st Century (of course, I would have voted for Teddy Roosevelt, given the chance. And Cal Coolidge. And, of course, back in the 19th century, I would have voted for all of them – if only because of their magnificent beards (and that whole “freeing the slaves” thing, that was pretty cool). We just got to stop putting insane (and I mean literally batshit insane) people on the ballot!

        Sadly, in Santa Cruz, the beard just makes me look like an ageing hipster but, fortunately, I live down the way in Capitola where folks are just so much more laid back about beards and such!

      • There are few things as sexy as an aging hipster πŸ™‚

      • babedarla says:

        I posted on Facebook last night about how sick I am of holier than thou far lefties with their wacky ideas (I’m a liberal) so I totally agree about the batshit insane ones, on BOTH sides of the aisle!
        I stayed at a friends place in La Selva beach last fall, and I quite liked the “aging Hipster” quality of the area. People like me! Yay! The last place I had been stationary for awhile was Pollock Pines, up on the way to Tahoe, where the community was rather evenly divided between dreadlocked pot-growers and tea-party conservatives. I did NOT fit in!
        And the whole freeing the slaves thing? Yeah, pretty damned cool!

      • Who needs Plenty of Fish? Just come to Sally’s site to meet like-minded singles πŸ™‚

    • The most discerning would recognize what a catch you were, Seb. One of those gorgeous poems on your profile perhaps?

  4. babedarla says:

    I was flirting with a gorgeous OkCupid guy last week. Things seemed to be going really well, he was very complimentary, seemed like an interesting guy, lives part time on a boat in the Monterey Bay. I thought, “cool” Then he asked if I had a plump ass and said “I’d like to french kiss your butthole.”
    Ummmmm…..yeah! Then I suppose you’d wanna french kiss my MOUTH with that nasty old tongue. Ewwwwww! Needless to say, I stopped corresponding with that jackass!
    I heard POF was the hook up site, and match.com seems like the more conservative types, but god only knows!
    Oh, and BTW, I still get the 21 year olds contacting ME, and I’m 54! “Please, child, you’re younger than my son!”

  5. Diane C says:

    At least you have a sense of humour about it all!

  6. kingmidget says:

    I’ve got no response to this one.

  7. amb says:

    Oh my goodness, this cracked me up. I’m sorry you have to swat away 21 year olds from Texas, but I’m so glad you’re out there sussing out all these other sites … so that I don’t have to! πŸ™‚ Loving the idea of comparing the different “personalities” of the sites – more please!

  8. OKC is way better than solitaire! It was worth just to find the awesome pick-up line!

  9. babedarla says:

    Sally, you’ll love this: A month or two ago a young kid, 26 years old, from a neighboring town contacted me. I politely told him I was not interested in anyone his age. Today there’s a letter in my inbox from him. Same kid, same picture, DIFFERENT profile name, and now he’s THIRTY!!!!
    God, young AND dumb, what a catch!

    • You are so funny! Does he think that four years is really going to make a difference? It seems more common that people try to pass themselves off as younger…

      • babedarla says:

        Unless you’re young enough to be on the cast of “Girls” and like older women, I suppose!
        and, just the fact that he wouldn’t think I’d recognize the same (or close to it!)picture! what a doofus!

  10. Debra Kristi says:

    I’ve heard of many great matches happening as the result of dating sites. It’s a hell of a process, though, isn’t it? I don’t envy you, having to deal with the emails and wade through the potential suitors. My neighbor found his match that way. I hope yours is close and much more than just blogging material.

  11. susielindau says:

    It sounds entertaining at the very least!

  12. rose says:

    Like the gibbous moon comment – think you should def check him out! I tried okcupid once – I got fed up really soon with all the dumb textspeak comments and template replies – guess I”m just a dyed in the wool POF person. Although, there is also rsvp. I don’t have any luck with that at all – all the men who approach me (all three of them) are unsuitable, and all the men I approach say no!

  13. You’re giving me an education, Sally πŸ™‚ Sounds like fun!

  14. heysugarsugar says:

    hey pretty lady, I just nominated you for The Best Moment Award xxxx

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