A Yes Girl Says No

Adventure3I like saying yes. Even when I’m not sure. Especially when I’m not sure. If it feels a little bit terrifying, that’s a pretty good indication that “yes” is a good idea. Some of my best adventures have happened because I said yes, even though I felt a bit panicked about doing so. Mt. Kilimanjaro was that kind of yes. Sailing in Greece. Kayaking with the orcas. Backpacking (for the first time in 20 years) last summer with my boys. Getting married. For a second time.  I like yes. In fact “Say Yes” is a bit of a mantra for me.

So it’s been hard for me to learn the word no. I am good with saying no to things I don’t really want to do. But where I get into trouble is with the things I do want to do. There are times where I could be out at a social event four or five nights in a row. And when I could be in Vancouver for the weekend with my girlfriends. And I’d like to say yes. I am a girl who likes a good party.  But I’m coming to realize that in order to truly make self-care a priority, I need to say no sometimes. And not only to too many parties.

In order to really take care of myself, and to make time for what is really important, I need to say no to late nights. No to sleeping away my weekend mornings. No to sugar. No to television. No to blow drying and straightening my hair every morning. No to shopping as entertainment. No (sigh) to wine.

And I need to say yes to meditation. Yes to time in nature. Yes to writing in my journal and on my blog. Yes to my curls. Yes to walking and hiking.  Yes to yoga. Yes to exploring my artistic side. Yes to healthy food choices. Yes to time with Will and my boys. Yes to relaxed. Yes to content. Yes to calm.

It’s slow learning for me, but I’m realizing that I can’t do everything.   I have to say no in order that I can say yes to the things that really matter.


About Sally

Poet, seeker, author, mom. Celebrating the beauty and mystery that surrounds us and learning to trust in the journey.
This entry was posted in Living Deliciously, On Adventure, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to A Yes Girl Says No

  1. kingmidget says:

    Yeah. There are things I need to say no to as well. That’s the struggle. Recognizing that no can lead to some incredible opportunities to say yes.

    • Sally says:

      What a lovely way to put it! My big no was to y girlfriends who spent this weekend in Vancouver. I would have loved to go, but it would have meant saying no to Will, on a rare weekend when there were no kids, and no to my writing, which is a priority right now. I’m sad to have missed the weekend away, but I’ve arrived at Monday feeling calm and content.

  2. Jerry says:

    Nice post Sally. ’tis all about balance 🙂

  3. Preaching to the choir… I also think women have a much harder time just saying NO.

  4. Brigitte says:

    I think women have a difficult time saying no. But it’s absolutely necessary at times! But, it sounds as if all the things you’re saying YES to are right on track. ;).

    • Sally says:

      I am certainly feeling calm and in balance in my life right now. But it still doesn’t make “No” an easy option. Thanks for dropping by, Brigitte!

  5. Heartafire says:

    I have a real problem with saying no, saying yes to adventures is fabulous, I am all for that, but saying yes to things that are not good for us…what to do? Fine article, thank you!

    • Sally says:

      Thank you! I agree that “no” is difficult, particularly when most of us have grown up being reminded to be helpful and kind, and above all, not selfish.

      • Heartafire says:

        I think “people pleasing” is ingrained in a lot of us, men included, we sometimes make decision based on the desire to please…a huge mistake Thank you for this very thought text!

      • Sally says:

        So true. I’m guilty of seeing this as something women struggle with particularly, but you are absolutely right! (In fact, I’ve been coaching my 15 year old son to speak up for his own needs as he is a kid who just wants to keep everybody happy and so goes along with what the rest of us want).

  6. kp says:

    Well said Sally!! And good for you; good reminder for the rest of us!! Kim

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